jump to navigation

NHL Super Skills – from my perspective January 30, 2011

Posted by calvin in Uncategorized.
Tags: ,
1 comment so far

Okay, we’re ready for Super Skills! Huh. I could’ve sworn Tyler Ennis was a Sabre. #announcerfail

Fastest skater:

  • Skating an entire lap around the rink backward. I am really impressed by this. Maybe I shouldn’t  be, but I am.
  • Okay, I love that the goalies are doing the fastest skater competition.
  • The regular skaters are only a few seconds faster than the goalies. I find this hilarious.
  • Man, Green is SLOW.

Breakaway challenge:

  • Creative attempts, but not very successful.
  • LOVE PK Subban taking Jeff Skinner’s jersey to get the home crowd on his side.

Accuracy shooting:

  • I always wonder how it’s possible to be bad at accuracy shooting and still have a career in the NHL.
  • Heh. Daniel Sedin says “I don’t need my brother.”

Skills challenge relay:

  • Nice job on the stickhandling, Tyler Ennis!
  • Wow, that angle Daniel Sedin had in the one-timers was NOT easy. Unless he was Jochen Hecht.
  • Dan Boyle was pretty impressive with those ‘ittle bitty nets.
  • Alrighty then, Toews. Well played…

Hardest shot:

  • Did it ever occur to any of y’all that there are times goalies go “Arghhhhhh!” and duck due purely to instinct?
  • Brent Burns – 92.4 mph – really? And you call yourself a hockey player? Phpt.
  • Uh-oh, Chara’s lookin’ nervous… and he doesn’t beat Weber on the first try. Or the second one.
  • Oh, Rick Nash… a large human with a small shot.
  • DUDE. 105.9 mph. Okay, Chara, I bow to your shooting greatness.

And there you have it. Now on to the All Star Game tonight!


All-Star Draft, Amanda style January 28, 2011

Posted by calvin in Uncategorized.
Tags: ,
1 comment so far

So tonight is the draft for the All-Star game. Eric Staal and Niklas Lidstrom have been named the captains. They will apparently be helped out by two assistant captains each. I decided it might be fun to go through the roster of available players and make my own picks. What fun would it be, though, if I didn’t pretend to be Staal and Lidstrom? Without further ado, here’s how I see the night shakin’ out:

Gary Bettman: *walks onto stage to chorus of boos, ignores them as usual* Welcome to the NHL All-Star draft! I’d like to introduce your captains, Eric “Neanderthal Brows” Staal and Niklas “Norris Hogger” Lidstrom.

*Staal and Lidstrom wave*

Bettman: Gentlemen, you’ll make picks one at a time until a total of six players are left. Then we’ll just divide those arbitrarily. No one will care anyway since those guys are obviously losers.

*Staal and Lidstrom nod*

Bettman: Mr. Staal, you’re up first. *he waves a sweeping hand toward the crowd of players assembled in front of the stage.

Staal: I choose Marc Staal.

*Marc Staal throws his arms up in victory, does a lap around the other guys, and goes up to the stage to stand behind his brother*

Bettman: Your turn, Mr. Lidstrom.

Lidstrom: I choose Steve Yzerman.

Bettman: Yzerman is retired now. He’s a GM.

Lidstrom: But he’s right over there! *pointing*

Bettman: *sighing, pinching the bridge of his nose* Yes, talking to other GM’s. Because that’s what he does now. Pick someone from the players in front of you.

Lidstrom: *surveys the players* All right then, I choose Tim Thomas. Dude looks like a drunk salmon swimming upstream, but he gets the job done.

*Thomas shrugs, smiles, and comes on stage*

Staal: I choose Jordan Staal.

Bettman: Your brother didn’t make the roster.

Staal: *looks stunned* Oh. Then I choose Jared Staal.

Bettman: He didn’t either.

Staal: But, but, we’re STAAL’S… FINE. I choose Cam Ward. It was in my contract that if I was ever in an All-Star Game and named a captain for a mock draft I would choose a teammate.

*the assembled players nod and a murmur of “Sounds about right” goes through the crowd*

Lidstrom: I want the Sedin twins.

Bettman: You can only choose one at a time.

Lidstrom: *looking confused* But I thought they were a package deal. I mean, look at the way they’re huddled together like they’re afraid of being torn apart by getting picked by different teams.

“the crowd says a collective “Awwww”*

Bettman: Silence! *the players glare at him and stick out their tongues* Mr. Lidstrom. Please only choose one Sedin twin.

Lidstrom: Eeny-meeny-miney-moe…

Staal: He’s cheating!

Lidstrom: Am not!

Bettman: Children, children…

Lidstrom: I’ll take Henrik. He can play without Daniel if he has to, whereas Daniel is completely bereft without Henrik.

*the players nod, and Henrik pushes away from Daniel as Daniel starts to cry*

Staal: *standing with arms folded and lower lip protruding* Oh, sure, leave ME with the dysfunctional one…

*Daniel cries harder, trying to attach himself to Henrik’s leg*

Bettman: Daniel! DANIEL! *Daniel finally raises his head* Go to Mr. Staal’s side of the room. *points with a bony finger*

Daniel Sedin: *mumbling* Want my brother…

Lidstrom: I choose… Lunqvist. I love Swedes.

Staal: Yeah? Well, I choose… Loui Ericksson.

Lidstrom: HEY! You can’t do that! All the Swedes are my choice to pick up first if I want them!

Daniel Sedin: I’m a Swede!

Lidstrom: Yeah, but I didn’t want you. I just figured I had to take you if I took your brother.

*Daniel bursts into tears again*

Lidstrom: All right, whatever. I’ll take Erik Karlsson. SWEDEN ROCKS! *he high-fives Karlsson as he comes up on stage*

Alexander Ovechkin: How come no one chooses the “Russian Machine”?

Staal: Because we saw you in your underwear in 24/7 and we’re trying to get the image out of our heads…

*the players nod in agreement, several looking green around the gills as if they’re reliving that horrible moment*

Staal: I’ll take Chara. He’s tall. *Chara looks up from eating leaves off of the trees decorating the area*

Chara: Me tall.

Staal: Yes. *motioning him on stage as Bettman is glaring at Chara for ruining the expensive rented potted plants*

Lidstrom: Next I’ll take Dustin Baaa…fugly.

Dustin Byfuglien: Dude – seriously?

Lidstrom: English isn’t my first language!

Byfuglien: *muttering as he comes on stage* It’s not that hard…

Lidstrom: Can I just call you Fugly?

Byfuglien: How about “Buff”? That’s my nickname.

Lidstrom: Okay, Fugly!

Byfuglien: Hate these freaking guys…

Staal: I should probably pick another goaltender… I’ll take Price. He likes to party so he must be a pretty fun teammate.

Price: I’m a good goaltender, too.

Staal: *waving him off* Whatever dude.

Lidstrom: Yeah, I should take another goaltender too. Hmmm… *looks over those that are left* Hiller scares the crap out of me, so I’ll take him. Then he’ll be on my side.

Staal: This is getting boring. Can’t we just divide the rest down the middle?

Bettman: No, not until there are only six players left. Right now there are twenty-three.

*both Staal and Lidstrom groan, the crowd echoes the distressed cry*

Staal: *pointing to the first player he sees* You, whoever you are.

Brent Burns: My name is Brent Burns.

Staal: Your name is “guy who I’ve never heard of who doesn’t play in my conference”. Shut up and sit down.

Lidstrom: I’ll take Fleury. He won a Cup. He must be decent, right?

*player is heard in the crowd saying coughCrosbyandMalkincarriedhimcough*

Staal: *looks out, sees Toews, Stamkos, Ovechkin* Wow, slim pickin’s. Ummmm, I guess I’ll have to take Toews. He’s kind of an arrogant jerk, but we can talk about captain-y stuff, I suppose.

Bettman: *snoring*

Lidstrom: I’ll take Ovie, but *looking at Ovie as he starts to come on stage* KEEP YOUR FREAKING PANTS ON. NO ONE wants to see that, dude.

Staal: Oh! I just noticed Jeff Skinner is here! He plays for Carolina so I guess I gotta pick him.

Skinner: Yay! I wasn’t in the last six!

Staal: Only because of my contract, man.

Lidstrom: I’ll go with Kris Letang. I just love his long, flowing locks.

Letang: *shaking his head like a Pantene model* They are long and flowing, aren’t they…

Staal: Who’s that guy? *pointing into the crowd*

Bettman: Wha? Oh – that’s Keith Yandle. He plays for Phoenix.

Staal: There’s still a team there? Huh. All right, guy, come on up! If you’ve survived in Phoenix you’ve gotta be a pretty tough player. Hey, speaking of tough players – where’s BizNasty?

Shea Weber: *checks his Twitter feed* Looks like he’s at a pretty kick-ass hotel. He’s got a view of the Ballagio’s fountains from his balcony!

*all the players crowd around to look at the pictures BizNasty has Tweeted*

Lidstrom: Hey Weber, quit foolin’ around and get up here.

*Weber starts to walk up on stage but runs into the side of the stairs because he’s still looking at BizNasty’s pictures*

Staal: *whining* Do we have to pick the rest? This is BORING.

Bettman: Fine! *dividing the room with his arm* You guys – Team Staal, you guys – Team Lidstrom. Eesh. Somebody get me a drink!

*all walk off stage*

Sabres vs. Senators 1/25/11 Postmortem January 25, 2011

Posted by calvin in Uncategorized.
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

You’re still on probation, guys. Don’t make me put you back in jail!


  • WHAT A PASS TYLER ENNIS. He goes through the defensemen’s legs, right on Byron’s tape, and Byron makes no mistake, potting his first NHL goal.
  • The Sabres are coming out fast here – hopefully they keep up that energy level.
  • Paul Byron is having a strong start as a Sabre, and in front of his parents! All together now: awwwww….
  • Great takeaway by Vanek. Unfortunately the Sabres can’t convert.
  • Wow, coast-to-coast Tyler Myers shovels one to Hecht for his eighth. The Sabres are moving out of their zone and into the Senators’ with authority. I like it. The defense is backing right off.
  • Holy crap! No Senator is a plus player?
  • WHOA – Shoane Morrisonn – Amanda approves!

Didn’t like:

  • Yeah, I thought I was going to be able to just sit and watch the game. HAHAHAHAHA So I missed part of it. Sue me (or, rather, the people and things that caused me to miss time).
  • Well, that sucked. Also, one shot on goal in nearly fifteen minutes in the third? NOT GOOD. Just in case you’re wondering, boys…

Final score: Sabres 3 Senators 2

See ya after the All-Star Break! I’ll probably blog the All-Star Weekend – other than that, it’s time for a blog break!

Sabres vs. Islanders 1/23/11 Postmortem January 23, 2011

Posted by calvin in Uncategorized.
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,

I’m close to asking for a separation, fellas, so let’s make this is a good game.


  • Well, that’s a good way to start the game, Paul Gaustad! You earned your money for once – yay!
  • The Sabres seem to be skating a lot better than the Islanders in the early going. Nice to see.
  • So far through one period the Sabres have been credited with seven takeaways. That right there tells you a lot of what you need to know about the game.
  • Whoa! Through one period Jochen Hecht is at 80% in faceoffs. Who are you, and what have you done with my Angry German?
  • Ennis goes to the net and is rewarded. Other players: take note.
  • Ennis is having a really good game overall.
  • And the little guys are gettin’ it done! Ennis sends a beauty of  a pass to Gerbe for the go-ahead goal.
  • LOL – it kinda looked like Grier didn’t want to enter that scrum but knew he should. My 2yo DD can skate faster than he did to get over there.
  • Nice job, Tyler “The Jolly Blue Giant” Myers. Apparently he was watching Tiny Tyler when he went to the net earlier and decided it looked like fun!
  • The Sabres have spread out the scoring, which is always nice to see. I mean, sure, you want Vanek et al to score 18 goals a game, but when they don’t – and let’s face it, that’s often – it’s nice to know other guys can chip in.
  • Jason Pominville makes no mistake and pots the insurance goal.

Didn’t like:

  • I’d like to point out that almost halfway through the game I haven’t found anything to not like. *stunned* I think I’m getting soft.
  • I was watching the defense pairing of Montador and Leopold on that second goal. I don’t agree with Harry that they had the forwards tied up. Grier definitely should’ve had his guy, but Montador and Leopold didn’t play that well either.
  • Play has stopped, what, twice now I think, for boneheads who are throwing stuff on the ice.
  • TMI, Harry, about the 3-on-1’s… TMI.
  • Well, that was a bit of a clusterfudge in front of your own net, boys. Aaaaaanddd not surprisingly it’s now 4-3.

Well, the Sabres were finally able to solve the mighty Islanders. On to Ottawa, who appear to be in worse shape than the Sabres!

Woo-hoo! 5-3 Sabres win!

On head shots… January 21, 2011

Posted by calvin in Uncategorized.
Tags: ,

I know I’ve been terribly neglectful of this blog at times. Life just doesn’t always allow me to watch my beloved Sabres games in peace and it’s hard to develop insightful commentary on a game I only see in passing. That being said, I’d like to talk about a more universal issue than the streaky Sabres: head shots.

Off the top of my head I can name at least four or five guys who are out with concussions at the moment, most notably Sidney Crosby. I can name an additional, oh, six or more players who are one hit away from Veggieland, including Tim Connolly.

The NHL recently put a new rule in place about head shots, but it doesn’t go nearly far enough. For the life of me I can’t understand why a guy would go for another guy’s head, especially because they know darn well what can happen. I also can’t believe a player would take a jolt that caused a concussion and yet keep playing.

A note to NHL players: not remembering the hit, headaches, sore jaws or necks, dizziness, vomiting – ALL ARE SIGNS OF A CONCUSSION. If you experience them, GET OFF THE ICE. SERIOUSLY.

So if the players aren’t going to take care of themselves or their fellow competitors, what can be done about the issue of head shots? Make a stronger rule and enforce it ruthlessly. And until the NHL does that, great players like Crosby will continue to get hurt and we, as fans, will continue to be robbed of the opportunity to see their exceptional talent on display.

%d bloggers like this: